I’m not your Annabel, I’m not your Lenore
I’m not the one who keeps you rushing
Against the darkness of the shore
I’m not the one whose got you 
Standing, waiting at the door
 
Would you haunt me after death
Push my books right off their shelf 
Would you even think of me again 
I’m not that much to you 
And you’re just the thing I’m going through
 
You’re just the playlist on my mind
One song on the track and it’s playing on repeat
What I would give to make the music stop
But I’d sell half my soul if I could hear it from the top
But it doesn’t stop
And you won’t strum
And the guy at the dive with the Jackson  
He’s got me feeling uncomfortably numb
Or maybe it’s the tequila I chased with rum
Maybe I can manage to sleep it off tonight 
Hold out for the clarity that comes with civil light

Standing Still

Time narrows in life’s sandy jar
Shattering, it scatters over all the roads left unseen 
And for just a little longer
We’d pay almost anything
 
Here I am standing still 
On this tilted speck of dusk
Go ahead, it’s ok 
I won’t hold it against you
Leave me if you must
 
Here I am standing still
On this tilted speck of dust
Honey, it’s ok
Save it for another day
Leave me if you must
 
The things remembered most
Are those from long ago
Younger days and careless ways
Oh, the price we’ll stand to pay…
 
Hell, l really should just cut the check for you
 
Here I am standing still 
On this tilted speck of dusk
Go ahead, it’s ok 
I won’t hold it against you
Leave me if you must
 
Here I am standing still
On this tilted speck of dust
Honey, it’s ok
Save it for another day
Leave me if you must

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

XXXV "Things Not"

It’s a secret desperation 

A longing that does not sleep

Swaddled like blankets 

Wrapped around me like the words I dare not speak

It’s the earnestness of a living 

Built from the flesh of two bare hands 

It's the deliverance of a word

Whose sound I've never heard

It's the visions in my dreams

Not black and white, it seems 

Our eyes cannot see the colors 

Our language cannot describe 

XXXIV - "Dusty Road"

 Dusty road beneath my bare feet

I uncharacteristically took my shoes off

Because this walk didn’t feel like my reality

I needed to feel the truth

I built my dreams up like elated fairy tales 

The grandiloquence of the stories we once read

You think, it could come true, it could

You think, just once, could a prince really come through

But then I realize, he doesn’t look like you

They trained me to be wise 

To see beneath the mistrust of sparkling eyes 

To see the face value of withdrawing from a failing investment 

Just to save any face than can still be kept

So I’m standing on the dirtiest of roads 

This is not a destination I know 

So I keep walking 

Till I can find someone or something that’s worth the hold

XXXIII - "Hold"

 
You want to bet it all and win with just a hand
But that’s not me
I play deal by deal

Win the game in small gains and strategy

I like enough to fall back on

The rush of the win, it doesn't get to me
I've had my share of bad hands
To teach me just how quickly it could go

Your holding a hand of diamonds 
Flush, like the complexion of your face
All I have is a pair of hearts
But I won’t fold
I’ve come to make you sweat
My poker face isn’t usually very good
But my pride won’t let you see what I have to lose

This is all a game to you
I know you don’t like to lose
I won’t lay a single card down till I’ve counted for everything you’re ready to put down 
I won’t take the chance to lose on a game I know how to win